Maybe it's not destined to be..

I don't know.. It's just that this day will really serve as a highlight in my life. What you see on TV is not so real. Trust me. :( Okaay, so me and my friends went to this barbecue place beside the seaside. Then suddenly, my ultimate high school crush just said that he will meet up with us. Honestly, we were like crazy over the excitement. Big smiles on my face with that nervous feeling too.  While we were eating, we were like so nervous with the incoming scenario. For us, it could be so real because it's way true with the way he text! And then he made the time set at 7.30. It was really convincing with the way he acted. We waited for like 2 hours? Then. he keeps on making excuses like "I'm still at home". "Gonna take a bath first" and bla bla bla. Uuuggh. I know it's so shallow that it can make you laugh. I never felt this way before. To think that it's your ultimate crush since high school and he was like doing his MAN ACTS that could fool every girl's heart. STUUUUPIIID! It's like what if he would tell us that he couldn't make it because of some facts. WHAT THE HELL!!! He so stupid!! We wouldn't be expecting this much! SH*T!!!! DAMN YOU!! Until 9 came then his last text was that he would be taking his shower first. Then that was really the sign that I have to MOVE ON!! My friends told me that he's not really coming! It's very obvious. Then I tried to processed it. It was really not worth it. It's indeed true that we're not meant to be. :( Maybe having a love life is not part of my life. :( Okay, so maybe I was seeking but I was like trying to know if life would give me like that. Hmmf! Unfortunately, yeah I'm a loser. A sucker of love! Well, I don't know what I'm gonna think now. I'm just gonna go with the flow and that's it! Here's my last word.. Goodbye and go to hell!!

Longing for love?

Part of me says Yes..and part of me says Naaah it can wait. But the question is, how often that long? I know life can be so surprising in its unpredictable date but sometimes there's something within that inner portion of ourselves that we can't help but crave for experience. Love is the most powerful thing in the world right now. We all see different styles of how love is being shown. Some people are secretly lovers while some are just too showy wanting to own the spotlight. We call that one PDA perhaps. Let's go back to the bottom line, love..love..love..why on earth such weird but somehow enthusiastic feeling exists? It's not the tender caring love we show to our family and buddies but the kind of love that is tangled by two opposite gender that is being electrified by a sudden thing called Spark. (Charot!) I know all the single ladies out there are just so desperate enough to at least make their world be inspired by hearts all over. They're too tired of staying at home waiting for nothing but making unnecessary stuff. They can't help but just imagine the thought of how actually visible love looks like in comparison to novels and movies. Some lose hope while others are too hyper-optimistic. We can't decide when, where and how our own love story should suppose to happen. We don't need to expect too much about our destiny 'cause I know we'll end up losing. One of my philosophies is just Go with the flow 'cause you'll never know in just a blink of an eye, you're actually at your target stop. :) So, let love chase you and don't be in a rush 'cause things can be so topsy-turvy. Yeah, Right.

I lurve Mandy Moore :)

Mandy Moore has been my favorite artist way back when I was like Kinder I guess? Haha. I've been growing listening to her stunning songs that soothes my day.I don't know.. at first impression I was like "she was so beautiful, talented and cool!". She was so young then that as you can see her gestures and postures, you can definitely say that this girl is an active teen singer.  Because I always watch MTV before, I never got bored of her music videos as it topped on the charts. The first music video that I recognized her is "Candy". As you look into it, you can see that she possessed a very young-looking and teen style.  I always look after her as her career was successful enough by her music journey. I also owned a CD of her compiling her great songs from the very start up to now. Wasn't that close to obsession? Hahah. Anyways, my fave movie role of her is when she portrays Jamie Sullivan from A Walk to Remember, one of my fave movies. She's a great actress and she can portray any character like the "bully girl" from Princess Diaries. :) Even if I don't really get to her these days, I still admire her successions way back in the movies and especially her music as the root towards her fame. She inspires me to become the better person in achieving one's goals and CONFIDENCE as the perfect tool in any aspect you want. :))

                    I can relate so much of this song of hers when it comes to Crush. *Giggles*

As Usual as it can be

Life, oh life. Another back-to-normal days this summer. Obviously, my old routine is now back giving me the usual doings that strengthens my day. I'm sitting alone here doing nothing but finding things that could entertain myself. People around me just instantly dashed away back to their business too :(  It's so short and hangin' to me. Furthermore, the memories were worth remembering 'cause I had soo much fun. Nothing can beat the extreme and intensifying feeling that I had w/ those guys. :) They somehow brightens my summer sunshine until I tend to get tan and a bit dry. Hahahah. I'm gonna miss the "laag" and non-stop bond/laughter we had. :(Another tah-tah for now. Hahaittss. As of  now, I'm gonna set myself for strolling, watching movies, eating and of course my  favorite.. sleeping! Hahahah.
P.S. I'm sill thinking about attending classes this summer. Depends on my crave desperation *Laughs*

Here's one of my fave singers. Vanessa Carlton on her first debut single way back.  ;)

Why do GOODBYES exist? :(

Do you know how it feels like being left out? I mean why do things like these come to reality? It feels like my mood is nowhere to be set and my mind is powerless. I don't know why on earth goodbyes exist. It's a different and strange feeling at the same time when you feel like being left behind. It's just so hurtful when you can see your loved one waving his/her hand and in just a blink of an eye, he/she's already distance away from you. Why do life can be so hard and depressing at times? I kept on pondering why time can be so pressured and annoying. Is it because there is a magnificent incoming event? or tragedy? (hope not) Goodbye is meant to be "so long for now", not forever. Most people understand it the other way around. They lose hope to see and meet that person again. For me, I know it's not the final end  of friendship and all that. It's like a challenge to measure how you really create the bond that you have with that person. God will really find ways to keep the paths of each one crossed again and it's not us to decide when will that happen. Maybe, Goodbyes exist when a person needs to follow his/her destined heart towards the destination that is meant to him/her. It can be that the person wants to open his/her surrounding to a brand new phase that can make him/her a better person. :') Sure, Goodbyes can be so depressing and it's like part of the ceiling is gonna fall right at you. You know what I mean? We just can't control its stupid existence.  I just hate the word, that's all!

How music gives a big impact to me

Music..well, it's essential and meaningful to me. It  repudiates the afflictions and miseries that surrounds me. I don't know what's within that somehow heal my inner being. Even if it's not a material kind of thing, it plays a very tremendous role that creates a melodious part in ourselves. I wanna hug it...If only! My emotions really is changeable like the fact if I stumble down, my only rush aid is to listen to my fave songs and relate well in the lyrics. When I feel so gleeful, still I play many jump-for-joy songs. The bizarre thing is that when I have mix confused or uneasy feelings or not-my-day mood, Music is the first thing  that I want to rely and depend on. I mean, what really is it that gives so much impact to me. Ever since then I was a  kid, I am officially a music lover that never stops listening to the latest hits. Music runs to my veins..really. The only bitter thing is that I don't possess a golden voice that teams up to my music craze. Goossh! How sad to be one. (I wanna work this out).  Mostly, the songs I often listen to are the old mellow ones (Not so long ago) because songs today are often hip-hop,rnb and the like. I just wanna say that no thing can beat the so-called MUSIC! :) i Love U Music! *Giggles*

Gonna prove them wrong.

Okaaayy. Well, I hate to say this but my emotion now seems like to drown. :( I don't know why I feel such a feeling that eventually crept into my mind. *sighs* I realized today that even if I'm not part of the honor roll thingy (which I was way back in grade school), at least I have a goal that I always carry in hand. It's a kind of goal that I want to prove and show to everyone that I'm not dumb and somehow retarded, if that's the word. I can really sense that I don't possess that X-factor when it comes to academic standing even to extra-curricular activities. Sometimes, I can own that hopeless feeling when almost all things seemed to fall down to pieces. One of my distractions is that I'm worried enough on how to balance things in my studies perhaps and my leisure 'cause I want to open life into a normal yet memorable one. Honestly, I felt uneasy knowing the fact that I'm not part of that something but there's nothing I can do. Life can be so weird. Life teases me at times, too :( The one thing that I always bear in mind is that..sure, what's the use of that honor when in reality you don't really pass the real challenges. Truly, I believe that when you're not part of it in high school, in college you can really bring out the best in you because it's a stage where you're motivated enough to pursue things because you're entering the real world and the other way around. :) That's me. When I feel sadness, I always find ways that can make me see the possible outcomes in the near future. Well..I'm not gonna expect so much that I'll be successful of my goal but I'll try my best in doing so. So, I'm gonna mark my word as.."You'll be Sorry!" in this post. I hope and pray that God will always be at my side and will help to reach out my desires in life. :') *Tears*.

This is an inspiring song when your world seemed to crash :')

Last Friday Night :)

I looove Fridays! But last friday was such an extraordinary one for me. Weeeeeeeeeeeee.. It certainly was my ultimate first time ever! And my first was a huge blast too. Hahaha.Clubbing was soo fun. For real! It was like a jungle full of madness.People were like loosing their selves and getting into the beat. At first, I felt a bit edgy behind the doors but after a few, I was like, "Oh my Gaaad, I think I'm gonna like this." :)) It was so cool! That was the night that I definitely knew a lot of things. Regarding on how people behave,do stuff or whatever (Hey, I know what I'm doing). You can really relate it with the ones you see on tv. One thing was that the DJ's songs was like uuuggghh..except Angel by Shaggy. :) Above all, it was free! 'cause it's ladies' night. Wooohh!  For me, partying is normal for ordinary people like me to experience. It ain't that bad as long as you know your boundaries. At least you know what it feels like entering to a PARTY World! Yeeeaaahh..I hope I'll make a comeback. Hahahhahaah!! C'est la Vie! *insert last friday night song here* :))

It's raining papers,pens & textbooks!

   First of all, who invented the concept of having exams??? Anybody? *Giggles*. Well..... whatever. My schedule is sooo overloaded right now. I think I'm freaking pissed off! It's like the world wouldn't let me stop and let my mind go wandering to the imagination world. I understand it's almost Graduation (can't wait!) but this ain't cool at all. Anyways, my behavior towards school and stuff is like FREEDOM for me. Maybe I think I need relaxation first in preparation for college? or maybe I'm just too lazy and I want to experience things like these before entering into the oooh-I'm-scared adult thing that freaks people out. Besides, I'm not one of top ranking students anymore..there are too many intellectual and not to mention geeks that are so overly serious..Haha. What's wrong with me? Apology if you think I'm too harsh to what I said. 
   Above anything else, I'm currently making my desired should-be-submitted requirements for me to qualify to the next chapter of my life.(char!) These stupid tests are annoying and hello, is it useful in the future? I mean, can we signs like d/dx and find its derivative for you to calculate the amount of its cost products and bla.bla.bla. Or things like these, what can you conclude or expect the position of reflected rays in reflection and another bla.bla.bla. *Phew*. I mean, what matters most is that we know how to use such kind of object. That's all! Nothing more, nothing less! Why do we need to make things so complicated huh? Well, I understand in the first place that we should learn things like these to apprehend our knowledge but why do we need to...you know, like going to the deeper part well in fact you can just forget it due to other more vital things being done. Okeeyy, I think that's enough for me to express.All I can say is that you should take your time and balance all your major priorities in life. I didn't say you should not study in this teen stage but don't be too depressed. Chances are waiting for us out there. I have a quote for you to ponder..think about this.. "Grades don't measure intelligence"...TRUE! ;)

Boyband fever ;)

      

     Waaaaaaaaaaa. This song really reminds me of my childhood memories. :)) Yeah. Good times.Good times. If only I could turn back time and.....Ahhhhh! Okay, I'm an ultimate Boy Band lover ever since I was a kid. I think I was influenced by my sisters those times that  made me a Music lover until now. :) They were addicted to many boy bands like A1,Backstreet boys,Westlife,The Moffatts and so many more!

      As I was trying to explore videos in YouTube, my mind drifted to the late 90's and early 2000's famous songs from boy bands. As I was listening, I almost cried (if you can imagine it.haha) 'cause I know music is my everything . I can't live without it. Anyways, as the music evolution is way too different from the past, I barely heard any boy bands nowadays. I really think that life is soo progressive and modern as we see in our media system. I just can't help reminiscing and wishing that boy bands could reunite and be active in the music industry again today 'cause I'm sure many people are desperate to listen to their music. *sighs*.

    The good news is that this coming February 25th, there will be a live concert tour in Araneta Coliseum performing the Greatest hits from Blue, Jeff from 98 degrees and A1! Aaah! Can you believe it? I was shocked too but obviously, I can't go to that place 'cause I have school... But what matters most is that they are finally reunited and are performing again their awesome hits. Oh yeaaaaaah. Haha! At least, I'm glad they too, miss their music.  ;))

I love my height..period!

One of my best assets is my height. :) Literally way back, I really don't compliment my own height 'cause it's so awkward and not fair to the others. But as time keeps on growing, I then realized that, hey! this isn't bad after all. It's actually kinda cool! Haha. I tell you, it's like a special tool to boast people or when things aren't at its normal mood. It's a great power to strengthen your self-esteem. :) It's very good also to hear from other people  what they think about your height because obviously, they feeel so jealous. Haha. It's good to sense things like these. Anyway, one thing to remember is that..Don't always feel so good about yourself because too much egotism can stumble you from any unexpected circumstances. That's true! Life can be sooo weird. ;)

Super Disaster!

   This month is not the OH-SO-RELAX for us seniors in high school. Sure, it's obviously adding to our pressure and buzzzzzzzziness. It can be soo annoying, really. I mean first of all, projects are lining up right in front of our faces like hell! I also came to the conclusion that my toil was not in its satisfaction level. It was like sudden rain poured my head..Uuuugghhh! Then, came next the NAT review which serves as a surprise this coming March that we need to bounce back to our previous lessons in the lower levels. Lastly, the Senior Prom was cancelled because of some ridiculous reasons. I mean why don't people think on the bright side despite all of the buzzzzzzzzinesss surrounding us? Can't they just ponder for a while that this is the last year of our lives in high school? They're sooo blanked! Why do other people succeeded such thing at the same time? Gooosssshh..

   Anyways, sorry for the sudden reaction of mine. It's like my head's spinning 'round and round speculating all the events...Well, I don't know what will happen next. All I know is that I can't escape from this traffic student life that suffocates my way. I just need to balance my priorities right now as hard as it can be. Hope I can make it, "the Right way". *crossed fingers*